Screen Shot 2018-01-03 at 15.04.00

Facebook won’t allow me to sell this piece of art. Apparently it doesn’t meet their approval, as they tend not to “allow the sale of adult items or services (e.g. sexual enhancement items or adult videos).”

Here is the glorious message in full…

“Rejected: There are issues with your product

If you’ve read our commerce policies and think that your item should be approved, fill in this form.

It looks like we didn’t approve your item because we don’t allow the sale of adult items or services (e.g. sexual enhancement items or adult videos).”

It’s the second best rejection letter I’ve had.

Also, joke’s on you, Facefuck, I sold this painting last month.


Artfully Dressed: Women in the Art World

Screen Shot 2018-04-17 at 14.35.20I recently sat for a portrait by photographer, Carla van der Puttelaar, to appear alongside other birds of the art world. All the information you need, below, if you want to see it amongst the splendour of the Weiss Gallery. You’ll also be able to read an interview I gave. If you can’t bear to leave the comfort of your own abode, I have shared the photo on my instagram account.

The main thing to mention here, is that I am wearing various mismatched garms from Roxana Halls’ eclectic and eccentric collection. She’s one of my favourite painters, by the way. >>

Artfully Dressed: Women in the Art World

“From 16 to 31 May 2018, The Weiss Gallery will hold one of its most unique exhibitions to date: Artfully Dressed: Women in the Art World. These portraits by Dutch photographer and art historian, Carla van de Puttelaar, portray some of the most influential women in the art world today, as well as those at the beginning of their careers.

Gallery owner Mark Weiss sees Carla’s unique reinterpretation of historic portraiture and costume as an important iconographic re-working of his most beloved art-form: portraiture. ‘I have always been interested in photography, and this project, combining as it does my passion for the human face and form, showcases Carla’s genius in dramatically capturing the personality of her sitters in a uniquely evocative way’.

Van de Puttelaar has exhibited in numerous museums and galleries around the world. She has always had a keen interest in portraiture, and is fascinated by the effect of light. Carla photographs her sitters in natural light, with dark, Caravaggesque backgrounds, and there is a resultant intensity to her portraits. She describes her work as recording a specific, momentary expression, be it emotional or powerful, but always individual.

Among the sitters are Maria Balshaw CBE, Director of the Tate Art Museums and Galleries; fashion historian Amber Butchart; Emilie Gordenker, Director of the Mauritshuis; Lidewij de Koekkoek, Director of the Rembrandt House Museum; Catharine MacLeod, Curator of 17th Century Portraits at the National Portrait Gallery; Hanna Klarenbeek, Curator at the Paleis Het Loo; Aileen Ribeiro, fashion historian and costume expert; Jennifer Scott, Director of the Dulwich Picture Gallery; Diana Scarisbrick, pre-eminent jewellery historian; Fariba Farshad, Director of Photo London; Zoe Whitley, Curator of Contemporary Art at Tate Modern, and Curator of the British Pavilion, Venice Biennale for 2019; and Roxana Halls, artist, among others. They are dressed in haute couture, by famous designers including Iris van Herpen, Jan Taminiau and Claes Iversen, or vintage and period costume, and wrapped in sumptuous historic fabrics by Watts of Westminster.”

PAINTINGS, MUSIC & THINGS: Moore ⁂ Plum at Vout-O-Reenee’s

Vout-o-Reenees Flyer LO RES.jpg


MARIE-LOUISE PLUM (painter of uncanny folk-tinged Magic Realism) & JOHN MOORE (erotic portraits in a classic style) invite you to view their PAINTINGS, and receive a dose of sweet rock MUSIC.


The Crypt
30 Prescot Street
E1 8BB


Opening Night, Friday 6th April: From 6pm Meet the artists, discuss the work. Live music and good cheer for the surrealistically distinguished.
Exhibition continues: April 6th – 21st
Opening times: Mon-Sat, 5 -10:30pm

Marie-Louise Plum and John Moore immerse you in painted dream worlds, fantasy realms and erotic portraiture.

John Moore and his band perform songs from the “✩✩✩✩ literary pop gem” (The Times) album, Knickerbocker Glory, on 14th April. Advance tickets £10 plus booking fee, doors 7pm, showtime 9pm. Tickets also available on the door.

Exhibition runs from Friday 6th until Saturday 21st April.

Vout-O-Reenee’s is a club for the surrealistically distinguished. Non-members are welcome to view the exhibition, attend the opening night and gig. Tickets for the the gig are £10 plus booking fee, available here.


Marie-Louise Plum is a multidisciplinary self-taught artist who draws, paints, prints, collages and collects.
Her particular interests are preservation, memory, mortality, sense of self, and identity, following themes of social
alienation, sexual ambiguity and subversion of the ‘common sense’.

A large part of Plum’s art practice is searching, scavenging and regenerating that which is lost or forgotten, be it objects or ideas. Her obsession with keepsakes extends to all manner of ephemera, which have featured heavily in her earlier collections of work.

A recent exhibition at Bob & Roberta Smith’s CCCA in Coventry – a live painting and audio experience, ‘Suburban English Magick’ – was the catalyst for her new series of paintings that capture the voyeuristic sense of peering into worlds and peoples unknown.

Consciousness, linear time, and existence are subjects that Plum repeatedly turns to, searching for evidence to explain why we exist, and where we are going. Symbolism and references to self-protective ritual are often depicted in her paintings.

Marie-Louise Plum will be exhibiting new paintings, as well as selected art objects from earlier collections.



​​An artist in the truest sense – driven by his passions – John Moore is a musician, painter, writer and former importer of Absinthe.

His oil paintings depict subjects who demand attention, imploring the viewer to engage with their questioning gaze. A lover of timeless, classic erotic portraiture, following in the tradition of Modigliani, De Goya and Cezanne, Moore aims to capture atmospheric nudes in states of ethereal being.

Combining composition styles of old with new approaches, he presents his muses in such a way to carry us off into the magical unknowing.

John Moore has just released the highly acclaimed album Knickerbocker Glory, garnering rave reviews around the world, described by The Times as ‘A literary pop gem’. In addition to exhibiting paintings, he will be performing songs from the album, with his band, Saturday April 14th, as well as playing acoustic dates, the first of which will be on the exhibition opening night, Friday April 6th.

Described by Mojo Magazine as “A bruised eremitic, Withnalian Rattlesnake on downers. Makes Lou Reed sound like a bricklayer.”

Live Music, Saturday 14th April: John Moore and band, playing songs from his new album Knickerbocker Glory. Doors 7pm. Showtime 9pm. Club closes at 2am. Tickets £10.

The George Michael Clootie Well



Screen Shot 2018-01-25 at 20.27.31

You heard it here first – the unofficial shrine to George Michael, opposite his home in Highgate, is a ‘clootie well’ down south.*

Clootie wells, found in areas with Celtic history, are places of pilgrimage. They are spring wells in woodland areas. Offerings, ‘clooties’ (strips of fabric, rags) are brough to the well, hung on a tree, in an action of both well-wishing and to pray from relief from ailments.

I absolutely adore the GM shrine. Trinkets hang from every available branch and railing, the small enclosed green area, now a churned-up mud pie, smothered with continually disintegrating photographs, flags and fixtures.

More than the physical shrine itself, I love this unofficial, impromptu wishing well for its enabling of modern-day occultism, ritual and occupation. It’s a place where the wider-reaching hopes and fears of all kinds of visitors are placed, subconsciously, indirectly.

There’s always someone tending to something there. Mad fan they may be, but in there they are turning in ritual, spinning, spinning on a wheel, throwing out, bringing in.


*I think, although I haven’t actually checked whether anyone else has made this comparison.

Danger, Liberated.

Danger, Liberated

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve discovered the joys of a phone app called You Doodle. I probably love it because it’s a way to be narcisstic, post selfies with bits chopped out and call it collage, as it’s no longer a selfie. Anyway, I digress (and offer too much truth), the app is pretty good if you miss the way that, in more lo-fi times, you’d carry around a economically sized sketchbook and draw little cartoons and write down witty turns of phrase that would just pop into your mind.

It’s also a handy way of swerving social media, as you spend most time making the collage, and, by the time you’ve posted it (for instant gratification, another plus to this process) you’re too tired to snoop on whatever it is that people are flinging out into the online realm.


The only problem with these digital collages is, I now want to look like the version of me I am creating in digital form. Is there a reasonable way to make this happen?